enormity

the enormity of the catastrophe is beyond my comprehension

complacency is replaced by compassion / by contemplation

despite all odds i am blessed by the grace of the universe

i live in a "safe place" / not prone to wild fires, floods, tidal waves, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes

our vulnerability is chronic drought and the tendency of the residents to ignore the potential we have for complete self-sustainability

the tsunami has changed the global community more than 911 did the american people

and if it hasnt, it should

1.1.05

tsunami

words fail

"Never refuse to refuse" ~~ attribution

i am fascinated to receive a comment to an entry on October 17 / with a query on the origin of "Never Refuse to Refuse"

yes, my mentor, Priscilla, studied with Boyce Lundstrom / she also recommended his wonderful book which she described as the best book on glass fusing one cd possibly hope to find

the book is Kiln Firing Glass / Glass Fusing Book One by Boyce Lundstrom

i ordered the book over the internets

thanks so much also for sending the link to his page

LUNDSTROM

and check out the gallery at this page too

i am quite inspired ! and Oh / influenced too

Spoons

there are spoons for every kind of scooping up possibility

there are tea spoons
table spoons
coffee spoons
little demitasse spoons for little cups of espresso
soup spoons in several shapes / a round one is for clear soup / a more oval shape is for creamed soup / heh
a bigger spoon is for chile or stews or gumbos or chunky foods that are served in bowls

ladles / servers / a scoop for sugar / one for salt if the salt is in a little dish which prolly has a name too

iced tea spoons tall and thin / use for ice cream sodas too

specialty spoons like "slotted" or the spoon that accompanies the fork as a pair of salad servers

shall i include a coke spoon ?

no ?

okay / how about a spoon shaped and serrated at its point designed to scoop out a segment of grapefruit from between its membranes ?

as a bride my former mother in law (who is now 99) served warmed up half a grapefruit dressed with honey and a marschino cherry as an appetizer at an elegant dinner party she gave for her husband's bosses / this must have been in the 40's / i know of no other time that half a grapefruit was considered an elegant appetizer at a dinner party / smile

she wished to impress them that elegance was part of their every day lives

but when her husband tasted the grapefruit he suddenly exclaimed with astonishment : It's Hot"

she told me this story many years after it happened of course / she laughed at how mortified she had been

^^^^^^^^

spooning / spoonerisms / spoon fed

Spoon River Anthology !

Catching Up ~~~

~~~ by cheating / just changing the date to yesterday / i promised myself i would write at least one entry a day / so i am only cheating myself / but, see, when i print out the month for a paper record i wont remember what days i changed the date unless i make this announcement

is it possible ~~~

~~~there are places where it never rains or snows nor the wind blows ?

these are the places that have front yards and back yards and lawns and gardens and patios and hot tubs and barbecue grills and swimming pools wanted or unwanted ?

these are the places that get taken for a ride on the house and garden channel

they get made over

rearranged, redecorated, refurbished, refurnished

replanted, repainted, reseeded, resodded

and then it is all done and the client is thrilled with everything / and it looks like the kind of place that will never rain on the new parade

Really Really Really

how many really's do you need to make something Really Real ?

or are too many really's irrealevant (sic) ?

How many best friends can you have ?

well, lots !

to me a Best Friend is someone with whom you can completely be yourself / no role playing / no fakery / no pretense / and you can be tactfully honest / they will know all about you and your past and dont hold it against you / smile

someone with whom you have shared trials and tribulations and travails and travels

yes !

one of my best friends is arriving today for a visit / i will tidy up the house a little / but not too much / best friends are more comfortable visiting when they know they are so welcome that the only trouble you will go to is have some sensational menu ideas and sleeping accomodations will be utterly wonderful / yes, the accomodations will be accomodating !

La Shamana di Spontaniotto ~~~

~~~~wishes to have a little time to record some notes found on a tattered scrap~~~

"~~~~want to smoke all the dope tonite so i wont have any tomorrow so i can have a couple of dope free days before jury duty / i dont know what to wear as a juror.

Mary (17) says why would they want someone like YOU ?

i am in Apple Valley

it seems like a settlement of Groan Ups not like Topanga which is for me a Childhood Haunt (it's never too late to have a happy childhood) / Haunted by Children

sometimes i wonder if "always making the Best of Things" is such an advantage : you know, i mean Positive Attitudes ?

what is your Bent ? your inclination ? your Attitude ?

this way / that way / revolving prismatically (of course)

who is to say what is "Best" ?

i am sipping port smoking the last of the dope and typing with the Olivetti on my lap. Wally is sleeping on an old sheepskin coat. C'eC'e is on a folded up sleeping bag over a foam pad. Next time bring the dog beds.

the four white cats are outside in the moonlight"

(undated / est mid '80's)

&&&&&&&&&&


a little later and just in time for a new year's message to myself :

scrap torn from spiral notebook :

"~~~entering a new world / stepping off
on the verge of the great beyond
on the road without a map

swizzle swizzle

kick glide smile !"

(undated / est late '90's)

Kappy, the child, pops up

mom and dad are away

i gonna watch MTV

All Day

caterina cacciatore

while the child is glued to the tube the Italian Cousin (La Cugina della Cucina) is rustling up some grub and rattling those pots and pans

CATERINA

expects to catch up with recipeez sooner or later

merry christmas

The new coffee pot

i learned to drink Italian style coffee while living in Rome

Italian style is espresso (demitasse cups of strong black liquid with a twist of lemon) or cappuccino (espresso with equal amount of steamed and foamy milk) or maybe a cafe latte (coffee with milk) or a cafe machiado (coffee "stained" with a little milk) or latte machiado (milk "stained" with a little coffee)

you can have your coffee in a cup or in a glass / i quite favored "in bicchiere, por favore" / (in a glass) although at home i seldom do this

beans are always freshly ground / just enough coffee is made that will be drunk immediately / there are no pots of coffee simmering on the burner waiting to be drunk / there is an immediacy to eating and drinking in Italy / life is lived very much "in the moment"

now is now / later will be the "new" now

the coffee pot i use is a Bialetti Moka Express / it comes in different sizes / the most common sizes are 3 / 6 / 9

so you can make coffee for 3 or 6 or 9 and it will be fresh with none left over

i have a 1 cup (looks like a child-size) and a 2 cup as well as a 3 and 6 cup Bialetti (there are other brands as well)

the 2 cup is my favorite / it makes just the right amount for my Moab Valley Humane Society hand made cup / then i add a cup of hot milk / perfetto !

it soon will need a new gasket / i hop onto the internet / shucks / turns out the 2 cup size is quite rare and uncommon (Italians tend to favor odd numbers over even) / no 2 cup gaskets anywhere / spare gaskets (which need to be replaced else the coffee doesnt rise, just leaks out the side) are readily available in all the other sizes

i discover a new 2 cup coffee pot / also made by Bialetti with a different style name / comes with a spare gasket / price is considerably higher which is a puzzle / i order one anyway

well fooey man chooey

first of all the beans must not be espresso grind / there is a measure for the water so that although the pot looks a lot bigger than my ordinary 2 cup it holds less water

the valve through which the coffee emerges from the bottom part has an additional gadget called the "frother" / apparently this is designed to give a creaminess to the coffee and Oh / it takes at least three times to break it in before you get a good cup of coffee / put it on a small burner on high with the lid open / watch closely as it only takes 2-3 minutes for the coffee to literally burst through the frother

i tried it this morning / it is more like "regular" coffee than espresso / rather disappointing / poo poo na na / back in the box you go

ps / maybe i will give it two more tries / meanwhile i save the coffee it is making and will use it to make coffee ice cream / um yum

happy holidaze, everyone

Meanwhile as we crossed the vasty wastes

i told my daughter about the "braingasm" i had the other morning

with drops in my eyes from the eye doc i had come home / walked a bit in the sunshine and then gazed lovingly at my fused glass pieces just out of the kiln

then i "saw" a scythe-like shape across my left field of vision / it was a colourful arc that seemed to be a banner of flags and pennants in kaleidoscopic colours / eyes shut or open / one at a time or both / i continued to see this amazing figment

i wondered if it were something like a little stroke in the old bean

my daughter listens and then asks, Have you got a Living Will ?

er um

at the nursing home we had to update my mother's info on what to do if she stops breathing / you know this is pretty standard these days and absolutely essential to do / so we did

i got a form for me to fill out and so did kaki

so that takes care of that

oh btw / i sat quietly and studied the arc of colour / it was dazzling / pretty soon it went away

Inspiration / Influence

Inspiration comes from within / Influence comes from without

one is not more valuable or more important than the other / we can be influenced in ways that inspire our own inner spirit

here are two photo sites that have and still do influence me :

this

and this

(let me know if i got the links wrong / smile)

and so i decided to take my camera EveryWhere with me as they no doubt do

and so yesterday my daughter and i traveled the vast uninhabited wastes of south central Utah to visit my mother in another county / we have been traveling the Moore Road across the San Rafael desert for five years now / it is a 23 mile shortcut between Interstate 70 and state route 10 / it brings us to the small town where my mother is resident of a very fine nursing home

the Moore Road is dirt / sand / gravel / rough / but in the last year has undergone imrovement / no, not paved / thank goodness / but packed down / there was a small turnout and we pulled off to wee wee and there ! wow ! i saw a panel of ancient anazasi rock art on a big square boulder / what a thrill

i whipped out the camera and got a couple of good shots (if i do say so myself) / they are posted

here

i wont know if the links are right unless i publish this so here goes / wish me luck

the New Year starts here

i dedicate myself and my remaining years

~~those that will be seen in the remains / smile~~

to Realizing my unRealized Potential

so there

from Thomas Mallon

Thomas Mallon is my new literary crush/infatuation

from A Book of One's Own : People and Their Diaries ~~~~

"~~~~~~~diary writing is the poor man's art"

and

appropos of 'nothing' (smile) ~~~

"Ive learned, in fact, that nothing never happens."

and

oh so much more

Solstice Start Over

or maybe a ReStart

turn a Dead End into a Live Beginning

fresh ideas in the works
bubbling over with jazzy intentions

CockEyed and LopSided

first lesson : avoid major decisions until you can See Straight

Adjustments

adjusting the conflicting forces within

(a possible braingasm)

when the forces within are in conflict
the outward flow of energy is dissipated
or diminished /strategic timing is disrupted

suggested ~~~ stability with flair

for daily personal mainenance of the human form ~~~

pay attention to : gut level reactions
toe stub clarity
moment to moment timing

do what allows you to feel "integrated"

(dont ask why if reason you seek for the brain is awry and springing a leak

Hmmmmm

are you noticing all the things you dont know ?

~~~~~the power of an object depends on the company it keeps~~~~~~~~~