Drilling in the Refuge / A Dark Day is Upon Us

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all convictions, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

- W.B. Yeats, 'The Second Coming'

One Day At A Time ? Nah......

half day at a time is more like it

i have super energy in the morning / actually leaping out of bed to the cries of The Alarm Cat

if anything needs to be done it will be done in the morning

morning becomes electric / smile

afternoons will be spent in deep hammock meditation

March Madness

no, not the basketball tournament

what is it about March ? wherever i have lived i become restless during the month of March

what a rascal March is / in Topanga Canyon it was often a month of huge downpours and floods / in Vermont the biggest snow storms / in Rome it rained every day the spring i decided to come back to the states

here in Moab, March teases with hints of spring then just when half the aloe vera plants have been moved outside there is a freeze / kaboom / gone are the aloe vera plants just like that

if one is a nomad or better yet, a New Mad, this is the season to migrate or at least get ready to migrate

and the Rideau Canal is officially closed / so no chance of a sudden flight to Ottawa to skate its wondrous miles

foo

the astrological month of pisces

plumb the depths
swim in all directions

sounds fishy to me

clinging to the past

someone dies / someone important to you / someone significant in your life

no more phone calls / no more unexpected visits / no more obligations

there is a hole in your life and you wallow in it

you wallow in sadness and sorrow and self-pity and anger

the way through grief is to grieve

Which comes first ?

fly away hair all over your face wont stay in place

or

feeling pissed at every little trivial nit picking thing

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A post on blogging by a blogger i read daily

BLOGGING

Do I still want to do all the things i used to want to do ? #1

like what ?

well, there's the big ol' Secretary desk that has been in my life for as long as i can remember so i sent it out for my mother when we moved her from Maryland to Utah / everything or anything that was in it went in a box and upon arrival was placed back in the drawers and cubby holes

the desk did its job holding stuff / a selection of big envelopes in one of the lower drawers / dusty papers that no one wanted to go through / bits of jewelry tucked away in secret hiding places / expired passports / an envelope containing $2 bills / books on the upper shelves with the glass fronted doors / a disorganized stamp collection

as a child i fancied using this as my very own desk (when i grow up, i thought)

now that mom has passed on i emptied out the drawers and cubby holes / in a drastic change of mind i decided to Get Rid of It

oh my

give it away ? trash it ? try to sell it ?

it is not quite an antique

however now that it is empty it presents itself as having a lot of practicality

(for me blogging is a bit like making notes or lists for myself and putting them out incase anyone cares / smile)

i decide to try using it and so move it to a more accessible place / put the envelopes back in the drawer / the books back on the shelves / choose which cubby to put the unpaid bills and where to put the paid receipts / bank statements and so on

a true follow-through on this project will mean i can get rid of the little child's desk i use which is singularly inadequate

stay tuned

Well ~~~~

~~~~~~i know i am in harmony with the universe when i can walk on the desert barefoot

Pressure Relief Valve

a Pressure Relief Valve is being installed somewhere close to the Courage Button

oops ! hey there, not so close to the Panic Button !

the PRV is designed to protect oneself against the build up of relentless delusions and unrealistic expectations

i feel better already

a tribute ~~~

to the fertility of tomato seeds

i planted a dried slice of tomato in each pot thinking maybe one or two or three might germinate and guess what

each pot is a little forest of tomato babies

breaks my heart to have to thin them out / i eat the seedlings or put them in the dogs' food

(check correct use of possessive plural apostrophe

eh?)

transition zone / new moon

Ignore ants is bliss

it's okay to make mistakes

dont let your mouth rob your eyes

or your ears

Well ~~~~

moody, broody

not to mention stuck stumped stupified stymied

hey it takes some doing to adjust ones perception

altar (sic) ones ego

reinvigorate ones spirit

so forgive me Dearlie Blog for my dedicated neglect

that Caterina / she keeps up good / the chicken salad was first rate / we even had potato chips / my favorites / Lays!

this morning she is googling up recipeez for Scallop Bisque as she desires to follow up on the success of her famous Shrimp Bisque

shoot / all she does is lay around in the hammock all day dreaming up stuff to do in the kitchen

she is soooo into EAT ART

EAT ART

There's nothing like a Good Hair day ~~~~

~~~~~~to perk you right up

There are only a few Universal Truths

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. - confucius

Follow your path with heart. - don juan

Lessons in Essence

indulging in remorse is the ultimate in self-torture

&&&

dont try to make a smoothie in a food processor

use a blender, dummy

Tomato Babies

it gives me great pleasure to announce the birth / er / germination of

Zapoteca
Golden Strawberry
Rosy Persimmon
The Heiress of Manzanita Farms
Signorina Genovese
and
ta da ta : BIG BEEF

FOLLY

The PT Cruiser's license plate sez FOLLY

i hope never again to have a license plate that people have to ask what it means / sometimes i say "the prisoners got it wrong, it should be DOLLY"

smile

a "folly" is a bit of mischief or a big screw up / one look at this car and i wanted one and i ordered it despite being over 2000 miles from home, meaning at some point i would have to travel back east to take possession when it was ready

so it was impulsive and extravagant and, yes, secretive / i was going to have to wait so long for delivery that i decided not to tell anyone what i had done / that is, until i realized i would need a carport on the property i share with family members

i chose FOLLY because she is my Controlled Folly

which is like being in charge of your own screwups / it is from Don Juan

a Controlled Folly is a degree of abandon and a degree of control

some folks get it and smile

some get the DOLLY explanation

FOLLY is pronounced FA - LEE

so i am moseying along Rte 50 across the high Nevada desert on that Loneliest Road in America last spring when a State Trooper came driving towards me on the two lane highway / i mean, he was in the same lane as i was / so i stopped

Hello, Mrs. Foley (FOE-LEE) he greeted me

duh

i am thinking some kind of APB is out for a woman named Foley so i chirp "I am not Mrs. Foley"

non-plussed the officer said well, pull off the road, there is a BIG WIDE LOAD coming

so i did / and thought no more of it until i got home and told the story to the kids / ah haha / did they laugh at me / of course they knew immediately that the officer assumed FOLLY was my name and it was pronounced FOE-LEE

i have yet to live this down

Channeling

this morning i said to my son-out-law, Hey, Bub....and then, Did Estelle (my mother) ever call you Bub ? (that is not his name)

i think i am channeling my mother / things she used to say pop into my mind / son-out-law sez Yes, he has noticed me a couple of times saying things she would say

she had a sharp tongue and cd be a bit nasty / or a lot nasty / i dont necessarily want to emulate that particular characteristic

to laugh like her would be okay / she had an engaging laugh even when it came at the expense of someone else

so i cant say i miss her all that much

as for channeling i believe that people who channel other beings are primarily in touch with their own intuition and connection to the Universe / why they name these entities the way they do is beyond my ken

Dressing up to go to the Dentist

the receptionist admires my linen dresses and my fleet of (2) cars / the PT Cruiser and the Dodge Dart / the dentist compliments me on my bracelets

a morning conversation with my coffee cup led me to think it was time to get out a little more / have a "social" life

in a small town like Moab going to the dentist is a social occasion

one day the receptionist wore a handknitted vest that she had made so this morning i took a shawl i had knitted from my handspun / next time she said she will wear a sweater that her father had knitted for her / i cant wait

on the wall is a painting by my neighbor who is a popular collectible local artist / he built my screen doors and put up posts and beams for our new shed

the dentist and his wife who is also a dentist are training interns so there is a running instructional commentary going on as the dental work proceeds / this is both illuminating and endearing

over the weekend the dentist and his wife went to the Grand Canyon / during intervals when not drilling (zzzzzzzzz) he describes the South Rim and the North Rim as well as architectural features and shares legendary stories of the Grand Canyon and of Powell's trip down the river / he is a photographer with an artist's eye

background music / i hear BaBaBaBarbara Ann/ takes me back to another era / then some early Beatles / i notice the only music i actually "hear" is music i am already familiar with

i am not keen on going to the dentist / too many awful experiences when i was younger especially in the '40's when the slow speed drill ground on and on accompanied by the smell of burning tooth enamel

a couple of years ago when i was a relative newcomer to Moab a piece of an old crown broke off / i was leaving for the east coast the next day / the broken spot was sharp / i had not yet gone to a dentist in Moab so i went to about 6 different dental clinics hoping to find someone who would bump off the sharp edge despite my lack of appointment

Dr F was the only one who said yes i can see you if you can wait a few minutes / so now he is the dentist i choose to see