the other day was the first anniversary of my mother's death
years ago a friend told me that when her mother died she became young again / i thought a lot about what that might mean so when my mother died last year at the age of 94 i was able to rouse myself from a self-imposed curse that she would outlive me but i only saw myself as not becoming young but really really Being Old
well thats over
i dedicated a year of mourning to the acknowledgement of the loss of my mother and to allow myself to feel the loss and gradually the gain of the loss / the freedom from worry about her
a lifelong entanglement grounded in chronic illness and burdened by personality disorder
she is at peace at last and so am i
and, yeah, i am young again
kick glide smile
1 comment:
One year already.
Chronic illness and personality disorder, you say.
Okay, I can understand your sense of relief.
For me it's been nine months since my mother died. No chronic illness, no personality disorder. I'm still pissed off about what happened to her. Still thinking of her the moment I wake up in the morning, quite often.
She was only 64. I was robbed!
I hope to one day find a little peace with it. But it ain't here yet.
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