"Never refuse to refuse" ~~ attribution

i am fascinated to receive a comment to an entry on October 17 / with a query on the origin of "Never Refuse to Refuse"

yes, my mentor, Priscilla, studied with Boyce Lundstrom / she also recommended his wonderful book which she described as the best book on glass fusing one cd possibly hope to find

the book is Kiln Firing Glass / Glass Fusing Book One by Boyce Lundstrom

i ordered the book over the internets

thanks so much also for sending the link to his page

LUNDSTROM

and check out the gallery at this page too

i am quite inspired ! and Oh / influenced too

Spoons

there are spoons for every kind of scooping up possibility

there are tea spoons
table spoons
coffee spoons
little demitasse spoons for little cups of espresso
soup spoons in several shapes / a round one is for clear soup / a more oval shape is for creamed soup / heh
a bigger spoon is for chile or stews or gumbos or chunky foods that are served in bowls

ladles / servers / a scoop for sugar / one for salt if the salt is in a little dish which prolly has a name too

iced tea spoons tall and thin / use for ice cream sodas too

specialty spoons like "slotted" or the spoon that accompanies the fork as a pair of salad servers

shall i include a coke spoon ?

no ?

okay / how about a spoon shaped and serrated at its point designed to scoop out a segment of grapefruit from between its membranes ?

as a bride my former mother in law (who is now 99) served warmed up half a grapefruit dressed with honey and a marschino cherry as an appetizer at an elegant dinner party she gave for her husband's bosses / this must have been in the 40's / i know of no other time that half a grapefruit was considered an elegant appetizer at a dinner party / smile

she wished to impress them that elegance was part of their every day lives

but when her husband tasted the grapefruit he suddenly exclaimed with astonishment : It's Hot"

she told me this story many years after it happened of course / she laughed at how mortified she had been

^^^^^^^^

spooning / spoonerisms / spoon fed

Spoon River Anthology !

Catching Up ~~~

~~~ by cheating / just changing the date to yesterday / i promised myself i would write at least one entry a day / so i am only cheating myself / but, see, when i print out the month for a paper record i wont remember what days i changed the date unless i make this announcement

is it possible ~~~

~~~there are places where it never rains or snows nor the wind blows ?

these are the places that have front yards and back yards and lawns and gardens and patios and hot tubs and barbecue grills and swimming pools wanted or unwanted ?

these are the places that get taken for a ride on the house and garden channel

they get made over

rearranged, redecorated, refurbished, refurnished

replanted, repainted, reseeded, resodded

and then it is all done and the client is thrilled with everything / and it looks like the kind of place that will never rain on the new parade

Really Really Really

how many really's do you need to make something Really Real ?

or are too many really's irrealevant (sic) ?

How many best friends can you have ?

well, lots !

to me a Best Friend is someone with whom you can completely be yourself / no role playing / no fakery / no pretense / and you can be tactfully honest / they will know all about you and your past and dont hold it against you / smile

someone with whom you have shared trials and tribulations and travails and travels

yes !

one of my best friends is arriving today for a visit / i will tidy up the house a little / but not too much / best friends are more comfortable visiting when they know they are so welcome that the only trouble you will go to is have some sensational menu ideas and sleeping accomodations will be utterly wonderful / yes, the accomodations will be accomodating !

La Shamana di Spontaniotto ~~~

~~~~wishes to have a little time to record some notes found on a tattered scrap~~~

"~~~~want to smoke all the dope tonite so i wont have any tomorrow so i can have a couple of dope free days before jury duty / i dont know what to wear as a juror.

Mary (17) says why would they want someone like YOU ?

i am in Apple Valley

it seems like a settlement of Groan Ups not like Topanga which is for me a Childhood Haunt (it's never too late to have a happy childhood) / Haunted by Children

sometimes i wonder if "always making the Best of Things" is such an advantage : you know, i mean Positive Attitudes ?

what is your Bent ? your inclination ? your Attitude ?

this way / that way / revolving prismatically (of course)

who is to say what is "Best" ?

i am sipping port smoking the last of the dope and typing with the Olivetti on my lap. Wally is sleeping on an old sheepskin coat. C'eC'e is on a folded up sleeping bag over a foam pad. Next time bring the dog beds.

the four white cats are outside in the moonlight"

(undated / est mid '80's)

&&&&&&&&&&


a little later and just in time for a new year's message to myself :

scrap torn from spiral notebook :

"~~~entering a new world / stepping off
on the verge of the great beyond
on the road without a map

swizzle swizzle

kick glide smile !"

(undated / est late '90's)

Kappy, the child, pops up

mom and dad are away

i gonna watch MTV

All Day

caterina cacciatore

while the child is glued to the tube the Italian Cousin (La Cugina della Cucina) is rustling up some grub and rattling those pots and pans

CATERINA

expects to catch up with recipeez sooner or later

merry christmas

The new coffee pot

i learned to drink Italian style coffee while living in Rome

Italian style is espresso (demitasse cups of strong black liquid with a twist of lemon) or cappuccino (espresso with equal amount of steamed and foamy milk) or maybe a cafe latte (coffee with milk) or a cafe machiado (coffee "stained" with a little milk) or latte machiado (milk "stained" with a little coffee)

you can have your coffee in a cup or in a glass / i quite favored "in bicchiere, por favore" / (in a glass) although at home i seldom do this

beans are always freshly ground / just enough coffee is made that will be drunk immediately / there are no pots of coffee simmering on the burner waiting to be drunk / there is an immediacy to eating and drinking in Italy / life is lived very much "in the moment"

now is now / later will be the "new" now

the coffee pot i use is a Bialetti Moka Express / it comes in different sizes / the most common sizes are 3 / 6 / 9

so you can make coffee for 3 or 6 or 9 and it will be fresh with none left over

i have a 1 cup (looks like a child-size) and a 2 cup as well as a 3 and 6 cup Bialetti (there are other brands as well)

the 2 cup is my favorite / it makes just the right amount for my Moab Valley Humane Society hand made cup / then i add a cup of hot milk / perfetto !

it soon will need a new gasket / i hop onto the internet / shucks / turns out the 2 cup size is quite rare and uncommon (Italians tend to favor odd numbers over even) / no 2 cup gaskets anywhere / spare gaskets (which need to be replaced else the coffee doesnt rise, just leaks out the side) are readily available in all the other sizes

i discover a new 2 cup coffee pot / also made by Bialetti with a different style name / comes with a spare gasket / price is considerably higher which is a puzzle / i order one anyway

well fooey man chooey

first of all the beans must not be espresso grind / there is a measure for the water so that although the pot looks a lot bigger than my ordinary 2 cup it holds less water

the valve through which the coffee emerges from the bottom part has an additional gadget called the "frother" / apparently this is designed to give a creaminess to the coffee and Oh / it takes at least three times to break it in before you get a good cup of coffee / put it on a small burner on high with the lid open / watch closely as it only takes 2-3 minutes for the coffee to literally burst through the frother

i tried it this morning / it is more like "regular" coffee than espresso / rather disappointing / poo poo na na / back in the box you go

ps / maybe i will give it two more tries / meanwhile i save the coffee it is making and will use it to make coffee ice cream / um yum

happy holidaze, everyone

Meanwhile as we crossed the vasty wastes

i told my daughter about the "braingasm" i had the other morning

with drops in my eyes from the eye doc i had come home / walked a bit in the sunshine and then gazed lovingly at my fused glass pieces just out of the kiln

then i "saw" a scythe-like shape across my left field of vision / it was a colourful arc that seemed to be a banner of flags and pennants in kaleidoscopic colours / eyes shut or open / one at a time or both / i continued to see this amazing figment

i wondered if it were something like a little stroke in the old bean

my daughter listens and then asks, Have you got a Living Will ?

er um

at the nursing home we had to update my mother's info on what to do if she stops breathing / you know this is pretty standard these days and absolutely essential to do / so we did

i got a form for me to fill out and so did kaki

so that takes care of that

oh btw / i sat quietly and studied the arc of colour / it was dazzling / pretty soon it went away

Inspiration / Influence

Inspiration comes from within / Influence comes from without

one is not more valuable or more important than the other / we can be influenced in ways that inspire our own inner spirit

here are two photo sites that have and still do influence me :

this

and this

(let me know if i got the links wrong / smile)

and so i decided to take my camera EveryWhere with me as they no doubt do

and so yesterday my daughter and i traveled the vast uninhabited wastes of south central Utah to visit my mother in another county / we have been traveling the Moore Road across the San Rafael desert for five years now / it is a 23 mile shortcut between Interstate 70 and state route 10 / it brings us to the small town where my mother is resident of a very fine nursing home

the Moore Road is dirt / sand / gravel / rough / but in the last year has undergone imrovement / no, not paved / thank goodness / but packed down / there was a small turnout and we pulled off to wee wee and there ! wow ! i saw a panel of ancient anazasi rock art on a big square boulder / what a thrill

i whipped out the camera and got a couple of good shots (if i do say so myself) / they are posted

here

i wont know if the links are right unless i publish this so here goes / wish me luck

the New Year starts here

i dedicate myself and my remaining years

~~those that will be seen in the remains / smile~~

to Realizing my unRealized Potential

so there

from Thomas Mallon

Thomas Mallon is my new literary crush/infatuation

from A Book of One's Own : People and Their Diaries ~~~~

"~~~~~~~diary writing is the poor man's art"

and

appropos of 'nothing' (smile) ~~~

"Ive learned, in fact, that nothing never happens."

and

oh so much more

Solstice Start Over

or maybe a ReStart

turn a Dead End into a Live Beginning

fresh ideas in the works
bubbling over with jazzy intentions

CockEyed and LopSided

first lesson : avoid major decisions until you can See Straight

Adjustments

adjusting the conflicting forces within

(a possible braingasm)

when the forces within are in conflict
the outward flow of energy is dissipated
or diminished /strategic timing is disrupted

suggested ~~~ stability with flair

for daily personal mainenance of the human form ~~~

pay attention to : gut level reactions
toe stub clarity
moment to moment timing

do what allows you to feel "integrated"

(dont ask why if reason you seek for the brain is awry and springing a leak

Hmmmmm

are you noticing all the things you dont know ?

~~~~~the power of an object depends on the company it keeps~~~~~~~~~

practice making a link

check out :


this

ah Skaterina what a boring little blogger you are

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/19/magazine/19PHENOM.html?8hpib

heh

more on doing nothing

the trouble with doing nothing
is you dont know when you are finished

Profile Views

there have been 157 profile views

who are these profile viewers ?

next blog wanderers ?

are they disappointed that there is nothing there about me ?

if i were to post anything it would be my resume :

~~sunset collector / view inspector

~~cloud surveyor / food purveyor

birthday gifts

whilst i was whipping up the green chile soup the daughter and son-out-law arrived bearing birthday gifts

roses from him and a rack of lamb from her

how sweet and how gourmet

menu for the rack of lamb forthcoming

Something for Nothing / an observation

the slower you do something the more it looks like nothing

it's true / i am eating soup out of cans

not directly out of the can / not yet

some campbells like tomato or double noodle / i use a can of milk for the tomato and a can of chicken broth from a box for the double noodle

today i had a treat / yesterday a young man i first knew when i lived on the mesa brought me a pound of deer burger and two packages of green chiles he had grown, roasted, and put by for the winter

i made green chile soup for my birthday

caterina cacciatore will give you the particulars over at her blog when she gets around to it and when she does i wil repost the url / i know you dont want to miss it

mmmmm

scraps from the dusty heap

"I dont think it is possible to live in california for any extended period of time and not get homesick for it once in a while even when you are giddy with relief over having escaped with your life !"

undated / plucked from the memory bank / oh yeah, now i remember ~~~~

~~~(i packed up my essentials / loom / spinning wheel / sewing machine / feather beds / dog / cats / i moved from southern california to a small rural village in vermont)~~~

and then :

giddy with relief
giddy with Real Life

the first few weeks i watched the opening credits of a soap opera called Santa Barbara because i so missed the Pacific Ocean and the beaches / i took to reading books set in california / like books by Kellerman / Grafton / Muller / Pronzini / Parker .... and so on

i got over it

my house in Topanga hovered over a branch of Topanga Creek so handy for refreshing wades and dunks and when in flood carried down to the sea all kinds of stuff you didnt want anymore / smile / oh that icky green chair

in Chelsea the first branch of the White River ran just behind the house / a furiously busy and sparkling brook burbled most of the year treating me to a rocky rapids exactly behind the yard

wasnt the kind of creek you'd toss your unwanted unliked furniture / oh no

there were the bagel races ~~~ so the memory scrap sez ~~

"Today's bagel race had a new and exciting participant & that blueberry muffin took off downstream and was out of sight in the rapids before the bagels could even jump out of the bag !"

# undated / some time later


& writing is based on a carefully planned and controlled use of the second attention &

how long does it take

how long does it take before doing nothing stops being fun ?

To Toronto to Skate

when i saw this photograph :

http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/

(go back to December 11)

i wanted to go there and skate for by birthday

so i left tomorrow and came back next week / smile

i flew up to Salt Lake City on the little plane from Moab / over the snowy mountains / from Salt Lake i flew over the Rockies to Denver / changed planes and thence to Toronto where i stayed in a charming little hotel

sigh / well not quite / but very soon / stayed tuned in

url for Caterina Cacciatore

http://caterinacacciatore.blogspot.com/

what i did and didnt do today

i didnt do all the things i usually do

instead i stayed in bed all day !

i had a first rate rest while the Italian cousin made a lemon pound cake with blueberries for the book signing tonight

i feel great !

Caterina will post the recipe for the cake (inspired by Basque cakes) when she gets around to it on her blog, the url of which i momentarily do not recall

I may be able to thread a needle ~

but without the cataracts i look ten years older

smile

bring back that gauzy blur

it's a good thing i am too vain to be vain

I threaded a needle ~

i threaded a needle with one hand tied behind my back

heh

just kidding

i threaded a needle WITHOUT MY GLASSES ON

that's how much improved my vision is since the cataract surgery

wow

Lessons

when outside input threatens to throw a pall over the proceedings ~

why, how appalling

smile

it must be time to reassume Potanga, the Improvaho nirvana

in which one is detached from attachment and attached to detachment

balance is being able to swing from side to side / like walking a tightrope or across a log over the creek

or not falling down from tripping over your skate blades

being able to sway ~

swivel pivot swing around ~~ !!

Circle Twist Revolve Rotate

~~~~~~~Pirouette~~~~~~~~

I have my skates on ~

oh i am sitting on the love seat by the fire and i have my skates on ~

this is one way of breaking in your skate boots which are stiff and hard when new / they need to be molded to your foot for your ultimate skating pleasure / the boot is the connecting link between you & your foot & the skate blade

the goal is the skate blade as an extension of your body via your foot

i didnt know about breaking in skate boots when i signed up for lessons / i bought my skates the day before the lessons started / this was in 1997 when i was back east / i was waiting there to be a witness in a trial and had six weeks to spend there / the day i got the subpoena was the same day i saw the ad for skating lessons in the local weekly rag

ever since my first Sonja Henie movie i have wanted to BE a figure skater or at least take real lessons

the young salesman told me about breaking in the boots / use thin socks (this is the rule for figure skates) / wet the socks and put them on and put on the boots / using the blade guards walk around on padded or carpeted floors / wear them when you eat or watch tv

i laid out a path of my woven cotton rag rugs and tramped around for hours that night

when i remembered this i got out my skates and put them by the heater / when i was working at the rink i warmed my boots up with the hand dryer in the bathroom

i am figuring out how to keep my boots warm on the way out to the lake / hmmm / warm them by the heater then wrap them in blankets with hot water bottles ! then keep them near the car heater on the way out / it's not all that far / i tell you putting on warm boots is way more better

i also like to have my feet bare in the boots / the first time i slipped them on sans socks i felt like i had entered the bliss zone / it is very like the first time you put them on after they are well broken in / there's this moment when you suddenly realize they really are broken in / they go on like slippers and are completely comfortable / this is when the blade begins to feel attached to your foot instead of your boot / it is a whole different relationship to the ice

ah, the ice !

more anon

what i mean by psychedelic in relation to cataract surgery

psychedelic means to me Consciousness Expanding

Balance through Contrast

this time i was awake

i slept through the first cataract surgery / it was like dying and not going anywhere interesting / and then wanting to sleep for three days or else i was snarky and snarly / that was the right eye / the one connected to the right side of the brain

for the left eye less pizzazz was put in the IV and ...um...

this time i was awake / it was psychedelic / i cd SEE the splash of fluid that swirled around my eye / colours / wowee zowee

oh the Xmas Light parade ~

Glazey Dazely

morning is cataract surgery now that i know what to expect i want to do it less

smile

but the left eye which once was the good eye and now is the bad eye since the bad eye got fixed and turned into the good eye

wants to get "fixed"

so there you have it

December

Dance with your demons !

it's now or never, kid

get in shape to skate or (gasp) hang up your skates

r u kidney me ?

with all these cute skating clothes ?

if i hang up my skates will i feel as bad about it as i still do about giving away my dolls 49 years ago ?

at least i wont have 49 more years to feel bad / i'll just feel stupid and wimpy today and tomorrow and the day after that . . . . . .

i got out my cold weather duds from Vermont / the lovely chenille scarf and hat made by Maggie the Weaver / my warm gloves from the skating rink / and then my old University of Virginia jacket that i found in a thrift shop about 15 years ago

this jacket is not an athletic jacket / when i went to the University of Virginia the "uniform" for men students was coat and tie / the official jacket is a kind of herringbone tweed with the colours of the school (navy and orange) gently woven in to the weave / The University was founded by Thomas Jefferson / it was an all male school and the men were expected to behave like Virginia gentlemen

(smile)

the liberal arts college for women was in another part of the state / a few women were at the University in nursing and education / there was one woman in the law school / it was the 50's

i took the dogs and went up to the Slick Rock / snowy high desert / a wandering stroll took me over the rocks and down to the sandy track / i went to visit "the button" : the baby cactus button i discovered several years ago in an area with several mature barrels / i had placed a rock next to her the last time / oh, she is covered with snow and ice / i carefully uncover her with a thin stick, wondering if maybe she needs the protection and i should leave her be

it is bright and sunny and cold / the temperature is 25' / when it the sun is out in the drop dead blue cloudless sky its doesnt feel all that cold

i wondered if i were having "symptoms" of "the silent killer" and would i drop dead on the ice this year

i remember hiking all over the Santa Monica Mountains in Topanga canyon when my grandson was a baby with him in my back pack and it would be one hundred degrees at high noon in July and the track would be sandy and hot and i would be barefoot and high on 'shrooms

i used to imagine falling over in a heap and dying on the track with the kid on my back

and now later this month i will rack up my 71st year / sure is a bummer that it takes 70 years to get to where you want to be

oh yeah ? where's that ?

oh Ice Skating on a beautiful lake in SE Utah wearing my snazzy black cashmere skating skirts

boom / splat